is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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