WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
