lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
