Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
