Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
