the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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