New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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