Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
