just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
