I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
