whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
