All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
