Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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