Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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