talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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