when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
