Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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