I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
