She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
