I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
