dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
