it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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