so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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