Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
