WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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