i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
