I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
