So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
