my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
