Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
we're making bets on your personal life
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
