I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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