Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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