I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
