Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
