The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
