You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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