my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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