You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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