I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
