I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
