I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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