You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
