his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
she peed on how many people?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
