Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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