beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
