I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
