let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
