david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
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