I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
