I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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